dirty medical jokes

You make me go from simple squamous to stratified columnar. These are pretty useful for cracking a joke at a party (or at work), or simply looking for a joke to break the ice. Red Blood Count: Dracula, Secretion: Hiding something There are people who consider hospitals not to be a place for jokes, but put yourself in your recovering friends shoes: who would you like to have at your hospital bed, a person who constantly sighs and looks like the world is about to end or someone who goes out of their way to keep your spirits high? Series: World Series of military baseball, Medical Staff: A doctor's cane I had no words. Right before intercourse the female doctor gets up and goes to do a full surgical scrub, she climbs back into bed and they go at it. ", Doctor: You have high blood pressure and amnesia., Patient: Doctor, doctor, I stood on a LEGO!, Doctor: "I've got good news, and bad news. "He died as he. She looks at the plate and asks, "Hey, where's the toast I asked for? Christmas has me feeling Santa-mental. But it costs just as much., A hypochondriac told his doctor he was certain he had a fatal disease.Nonsense, scolded the doctor. Why did the bucket go to the doctor?He had a pail face. The stranger says, "Listen, these pills cost $10 each in the U.S. How can you say they're not worth it?" ", Doctor: "Sorry sir, but your body has run out of magnesium. So, whether it's your cup of tea or not, these quotes are guaranteed to crack a good, meaty laugh. A group of first year medical students are gathered around a table with a naked cadaver on it.. Their instructor motions for them to come close for their first 3 lessons of medical school. Between the first and second hole. she replied. He was a double-crosser. ", My wife is pregnant, and my doctor asked me if I had ever been present at a childbirth before.I replied, "Yes just once. -"Eventually," said the consultant, "she will rise and shine.". Please check link and try again. You sent me a bill for $1,000. Morbid: A higher offer than I bid, Organ Transplant: What you do to your piano when you move Any idea what it could be?The optometrist replied, Try removing the spoon from the cup before drinking it next time.. Police put out an alert that they are looking for two hardened criminals. Why didnt you save me?I didnt recognize you, God replied. ", A pirate goes to the doctor and says, "I have moles on me back aaarrrghh. ", "I went to the doctors yesterday and unfortunately he told me I lost 20% of my sight. Both friends - doctor and engineer- were in love for the same girl. Why did the mattress go to the doctors?It had a spring fever. Having entered mechanic school, the former physician received the results of his first test back with a score of 200%. Does an apple a day really keep the doctor away? Start writing! The doctor advised her for tonsillectomy but said, "before operation, I would A beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to a gynecologist. All sorted from the best by our visitors. Months? Patient: Doctor, Ive swallowed a spoon.Doctor: Sit down and dont stir.. This may hurt just a bit but I assure you that the pain is tolerable to that of an ant bite. Doctor Young: "Oh no you don't, that's Gasoline!" The Daily English Show 1. Enjoy! Medical Jokes Short Doctor Jokes. 2. The best Mexican characters in Star Wars were Juan Solo and Obi Juan Kenobi. "Doctor: "The bad news is they mistook a piece of candy for your toe. COPY. What part of the body did the chiropractor fix when Eminem came in? He turns to the group and says, "It was too small for a condor, too big for a sparrow. Speaking of dirty jokes, we have the ultimate stockpile of the dirtiest, raunchiest, and definitely, NSFW jokes for you. One day, John suddenly dived into the deep end of the swimming pool. "Patient: "120 what? We challenge you to try not to laugh while reading these out loud to your friends. A guy is sitting at the doctor's office. One day Bill complained to his friend that his elbow really hurt. He complies, and moments later, the nurse comes back into the room with the results. 94 Pins 5y M Collection by Mary Sedivy Similar ideas popular now Humor Funny Medical Humor After he handed it to her, he said, I figured it out, so good news patient, well heres your prescription. Grand Est covers 57,433 square kilometres (22,175 sq mi) of land and is the sixth-largest of the regions of France. Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! Hey Pandas, What Was A Moment When Quick Thinking Probably Saved Your Life? Wife: No, he said you could have a stroke at any time. -those who understand binary, and those who don't. COPY JOKE. Doctor: "We have good news and bad news for you, David. "While I was in the doctor's waiting room, there was this tiny man, only about six inches tall. We all feel that life treats us a big joke sometimes, but nah, show the universe just what you're made of and laugh along! The doctor says, youve broken your finger. Short Jokes Anyone Can Remember Clever Jokes That Make You Sound Smart Funny Examples of Irony in. Patient: Doctor, doctor, Ive got a strawberry stuck in my ear!Doctor: Dont worry, I have some cream for that., Patient: Doctor, what should I do if my temperature goes up a point or more?Doctor: Sell!, What did one tonsil say to the other tonsil?Get dressed up the doctor is taking us out!. Patient: "Doctor, Im hearing a ringing sound? I cant keep from yawning all day long.. "Oh no, that's terrible. But you have to know that even doctors have a good sense of humor. Man: "Doctor, all five of my boys want to be valets when they grow up! ""Oh no! A doctor accidentally prescribes his patient a laxative instead of cough syrup.Three days later the patient comes for a check-up and the doctor asks, Well? Fulfilled this dream when I became a content creator and a filmmaker. To return Click Here. Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels. Three nurses died and went to heaven. Son Tells His Parents Hell Never Speak To Them Again After Finding Out Theyre Paying For Sisters Education Yet Didnt Pay For His, The Best And Worst Transformations Seen During School Reunions, As Shared By These 30 Internet Users, 'You Are Not Alone': I Made Relatable Illustrations Of A Middle-Aged Panda Experiencing Daily Struggles (16 New Pics). 1. Why didnt Elsa see a doctor for her sore throat and cough? *wink wink*. The Egyptian man says, "No, not worth it." Hey baby, wanna play with my corpus cavernosum? ", 5. Why did the sperm cross the road? "Mam: "Wait, what are you trying to say? Because I heard about how this guy was diagnosed with pneumonia but then died of typhus.Doctor: No worries here, that wont happen to me. A: Only if you aim it well enough. If I were an enzyme, Id be DNA helicase, so I could unzip your genes! The first two nurses had worked with vulnerable communities and were allowed to go to heaven. A: One treats what you have, the other thinks you have what he treats. Returning visitor? Nurse: Doctor, theres a patient on line one who says hes invisible.Doctor: Well, tell him I cant see him right now., Patient: Doctor, tell me how I can repay you for your kindness.Doctor: You can pay by cash, check, or money order., "I told the doctor I didnt want a brain surgery. Why do surgeons wear masks?So that no one will recognize them if they make a mistake. He rushes to the emergency room to get help. The good news is that we are going to discharge you because you have regained your senses, since you are able to jump in and save another patient you are now a normal person. By queensland university of technology. Hell have you in stitches.. I think that it was probably a duck. "The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades. ", Right before surgery the surgeon says, "Relax, Jim. Moral of story: Just because you're "Young" doesn't mean that you can outsmart an old "Geezer ", A man goes to the doctor with a long history of migraine headaches. Coma: A punctuation mark. When he arrives at the office, the receptionist asks whats wrong. Who stands in for doctors when they need to go on leave?The hip replacement guy. Where do sick boats go to get healthy?To the doc! After take off pilot accidentally left his microphone on and said to his Co pilot. But I stand corrected. So it's no surprise that this translates into some great humor in the professional field. A man frantically calls the doctor and says, My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart now!Is this her first child? the doctor responds.The man replies, No, you idiot! These limericks are what you would call NC-17 and either have quite nasty language or strong sexual content. The doctor prescribed him some pills, but they didnt help. Or you just rocked my world?! Our goal is to see every student enjoy a successful career in the healthcare field. Soak your arm in warm water. "Well," says the physician, "I'm glad I could help." Patient: Doctor, I think I swallowed a pillow.Doctor: How do you feel?Patient: A little down in the mouth.. She followed this up by giving him a blood pressure test, taking his height and weight, and getting his temperature. By queensland university of technology. The stranger says, "How about 20?" ", Patient says, "Doctor I have pain in my eye whenever I drink tea. Patient: "Someone vandalized my house last night!". A cure for your ailment guaranteed at $500; The poop almost always misses the chux pad despite your best efforts. You sent me a bill for $1,000. #2. "The doctor: "It's ok, they're benign. Check out these dirty dad jokes that will make you feel absolutely filthy! Doctor: 'Yes, of course' Question: Does an apple a day keep the doctor away? Giving people toilet paper is no longer . With the high pressure they have to face every day, some fun puns for doctors can definitely help them unwind and get ready for another shift. That's not how it works! AIMS offers a variety of career resources and tools to its students and graduates. "Patient: "What's the good news? Why did the cookie go to the hospital?He was feeling really crumby. Funny medical one/two liners that really caught my attention. This is a collection offunny one-liners, exactly as typed by medical secretaries: Option 1: Let's eat grandma. One day, a man walked into a doctors office and told the receptionist he had shingles. What is the difference between god and an orthopedic surgeon. The computer again made the usual noise and printed out the following message: To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction. Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it disappeared. Artery - Study of Fine Paintings or military, not sure. Therefore, she had a facelift, a tummy tuck, and died her hair before exiting the hospital.After her tummy tuck was over, she was released from the hospital. 1. Doctors ask you where it hurts, but then put pressure on it. Once the doctor entered the exam room, he started asking all the usual questions about symptoms and how long theyve persisted. Faced with such a brilliant response, we have no possible reply. Coronavirus jokes are rapidly becoming a pun-demic. ", "After my prostate exam, the doctor left. Jones: Oh jeez, I guess Ill take the bad news first.Doctor: The bad news doctor notes, is that I got your test results, and you have 24 hours to live.Mr. These hilarious jokes prove that blondes really do have more fun. Whats the difference between bird flu and swine flu? What happened?Nothing, he made me wait 45 minutes and then double-billed the insurance company., Are you an organ donor?No, but one time I donated an old piano to the Salvation Army!. What part of the body did the chiropractor fix when Eminem came in?Shadys back. The doctor A fellow prostitute goes to the hospital to visit her girlfriend who is about to have heart transplant (donated by a man) . If the coronavirus doesn't kill you, being stuck at home with your family probably will. Does an apple a day really keep the doctor away?Only if you aim it well enough! A friend of mine was destined to be an osteopath. Doctor: "d@mmt! The next Doctor s What is 18 inches long and hangs in front of an asshole? What dont you want to hear in the middle of surgery? Because you're making me drool. It's a gateway tug. It's St. Patrick, a Perfect Time to Be Punny. Dr. Geezer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in Dr. Young's mouth." Her pain was so intense that she decided to return to the clubhouse for medical assistance. "Man: "No way. (of a nuclear weapon) Producing considerable radioactive fallout. Medical Dirty Jokes. "How come you are sweating?" If I was an endoplasmic reticulum, how would you want me? Patient: Doctor, doctor, Im going to die in 59 seconds!Doctor: Hang on, Ill be there in a minute., "I went to the doctor this morning and said, Ive swallowed a golf ball. The doctor said, Yes, I can see its gone down a fairway.", The doctor stood by the bedside of a very sick patient and said, I cannot hide the fact that you are very ill. Is there anyone you would like to see?Yes, replied the patient faintly. Score: 1. Where? he asked. Get a water softener. Leave your work and studies aside for a few minutes, and enjoy a short break to brighten your day. I knew I wanted to be a storyteller ever since I learned to read and write. What's the worst part of an apple addiction? 'Because,' I replied, 'I've got tire marks on my legs. Rectum: Almost killed him "He was wheeled into the operating room, and then had a change of heart. Patient: Doctor, I am feeling much better now. The vet interrupted him by saying, Look, Im a vet. Then I have my wife sponge me off with the hottest water I can stand, especially around the forehead. Why did the doctor laugh at the x-ray of an arm? This is Gasoline!" A friend of mine was destined to be an osteopath. "Doctor: "120. Blowing, fingering, and tonguing isn't just for instruments. When someone from the passengers shouted 'He asked for a cup of coffee too'. Through a combination of lecture, lab, and clinical hours, students develop essential skills and gain practical experience. There you have it. Do you remember this song? Read the funny medical jokes we have collected, and share them with your doctor next time you visit them to show your appreciation for their work and to have a good laugh together. "Alright," says the vet. The husband finally emerges from the kitchen and presents his wife with a plate of bacon and eggs. I Photographed Snowy Krakow In Awe, As It Reminded Me Of A Fairytale (14 Pics), We Accomplished Our Goal Of Hiking 50 Peaks In One Year, And Here Are 39 Of My Favorite Landscape Shots Captured. "Over there by mine", was not the answer I was expecting. Why are men like diapers? 6. email addresses were disqulified from the list and couldn't be sent. They both have manholes. 10. Then into its ears.Finally, she turns to the girl and says, "I'm very sorry. Why did the calendar have to visit the doctor?It had a terrible year-ache. I'd like to finger your fret board. "I went to the doctor this morning and told him I felt run down. We're asking people to rethink comments that seem similar to others that have been reported or downvoted, By using our services you agree to our use of cookies to improve your visit. Jerry is in the hospital recovering from surgery when a nurse asks him how he is feeling.Im OK, but I didnt like the four-letter-word the doctor used in surgery, he answered.What did he say? asked the nurse.OOPS!, Doctor: I accidentally left my gloves inside your stomach during your operation. ", 4. 74 apple jokes, puns and one liners! Anyone can write on Bored Panda. In fact, if her blood pressure continues to improve like it is then Dr. Cohen is looking to send her home on Tuesday!Thats fantastic, the woman replied, oh, Im so thrilled!From your enthusiasm, I figure you must be a close family member?The woman replied, Im Sarah Finkel in 302! ", A doctor says, "The good news is it's all in your head. says the doctor. Confused, he asked the teacher why his score was so high. Tumor: More than one, an extra pair, Varicose: Near by/close by Share: A fat man goes for a medical check-up. Wanna take the joke a little far? The best doctor in the world is the veterinarian. Option 2: Let's eat, grandma. Here you will find the nasty and sexual limericks that we can't show on the main page. I never could before!, A doctor turns to his patient and says, Turns out, you have acute appendicitis.The patient blushed and replied, Compared to who?, "Did you hear about the optometrist that fell into his lens grinding machine? When your brain is in absolute overload. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year. Share: Mischievous medical student. Score: 2. As far as dirty jokes go, we can safely say that size doesnt matter. And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers, Guy Puts In His "Notice Of Immediate Resignation" After Boss Disregards Their Verbal Agreement, Warns Others To Always Write Things Down, Dad Overhears A Conversation Between His New Wife And His Son, Cancels The Mothers Day Celebration Hed Planned, Woman Wears Red Dress To Cousin's Wedding To Show That She Slept With The Groom First, But The Bride Outsmarts Her, 30 Informative And Fun Food Charts For Anyone Trying To Eat Smarter, Artist Creates Fun Comics With Unpredictable Endings That Poke Fun At Our Society (30 New Pics), Clueless Director Calls For A Meeting Over Mass Resignation After Company Cancels WFH, Employee Explains It In A Way He Would Understand, "You Are So Beaut-OHGOD! Have you done anything yet?Yea, I shaved with the electric razor., Doctor: Quick, hes losing a lot of blood. Woman Takes DNA Test For Fun Only To Discover Her Long-Term Boyfriend Is Her Full Sibling, Woman Flabbergasted At Thrift Store's Prices, Calls Them Out By Sharing 14 Examples, "I Just Said Thank You And Left": Mans Nice Gesture Is Praised After Pizza Hut Driver Got A $20 Tip On A $938 Order, 50 People Who Are Having A Terrible Day At Work, 30 Mistakes Made By Designers And Architects Who Didnt Think Of The Person Whod Be Using Their Designs, 50 Times People Were So Surprised With How Perfectly Things Lined Up, They Just Had To Document It, European Is Shocked To Learn How American Suburbs Work, Goes Online To Ask Some Accurate Questions, Woman Is Upset That Neighbors Shed Is Too Big, Calls Inspector, Regrets It When They Maliciously Comply, "Never Come Back To My Restaurant": Chef Bans Rude Restaurant Patrons And Gives $1,350 Bill To 22 Y.O. They started getting along really well they decide to go to the girl's place for a drink. Some @$$#le has my pen! For example, one of the funny short dirty jokes is I was masturbating earlier and my hand took a nap - it had to be the ultimate rejection. The police put out an alert to look for the two hardened criminals. Because you're making me drool. Patient was found in bed with her power mower. ", A parrot swallows a Viagra tablet. How many doctors does it take to change a lightbulb? ", An American tourist in Australia got hit by a car.He woke up in a hospital with a doctor standing over him.He asked the doctor, "Did I come here to die? All the jingle ladies, all the jingle ladies. That's a huge miscommunication! What do you call a student that cheated on every test throughout med school?Hopefully not your doctor. "I'm afraid I have some bad news. ": 40 Hilarious Before-And-After Pictures, As Shared By These Women With A Sense Of Humor (New Pics), 30 Of The Most Spine-Chilling Things Kids Have Ever Said, As Shared In This Viral Twitter Thread, Woman On TikTok Calls Out Airbnb Tenant's Entitlement When She Realizes That She Has To Do Chores Despite $125 Cleaning Fee, Old Photos In Real Life: 35 Pics That Show How Much Time Affects Everything (New Pics), AITA? Have you seen all jokes? Doctor "Young," who was positive that this old geezer didn't know beans about medicine, thought this would be a great opportunity to get $1,000. Are you still coughing?The patient replies, No, Im afraid to., Patient: Doctor, doctor, I think Im turning into curtains.Doctor: Pull yourself together!. Then I get out of the tub, take her into the bedroom, and even if my head is killing me, I force myself to have sex with her. The best medical jokes One day Bill complained to his friend that his elbow really hurt. Believe in your elf. How did the doctor cure the invisible man? 3. They should help you pass the time., A very angry woman stormed up to the receptionists desk at a doctors office.Someone stole my wig while I was having surgery yesterday, she complained.The doctor came out and tried to calm her down. The doctor examined the man, left the room, and came back with three different bottles of pills. "Doctor: "Wow! What's better than a cold Bud? Doctor, doctor, will I be able to play the violin after the operation?, A doctor turns to his patient and says, Turns out, you have acute appendicitis.. 19. What do you call a chicken that crosses the road, rolls in the dirt, crosses the road again, and then rolls in the dirt again? Doctor, please hurry. Answer: Only if you aim it well enough. Let's hit the road ladies and gents: #1. Dr replies, "No but it will keep the sheets off his legs!". Why did the banana go to the doctor?He wasnt peeling well. Why do you think it was taken here?After the operation, I noticed the wig I was wearing was cheap-looking and ugly.I think, explained the surgeon gently, that means your cataract operation was a success.. Please give me your bill.Doctor: Be calm. Me: Were they fast as lightning?, Patient: No, and it was scary, I thought they were gonna wreck my door. This helps a little. "The doctor calmly suggests, "I recommend you take her for a very long walk and leave her. G.I. With jokes about everything from mummies to zombies to pumpkins (and even some cheesy dad jokes), finding the perfect spook-tacular one-liner will be the least of your worries. 4. Dr. Cohen doesnt tell me a word., A patient went to their optometrist and said, Whenever I drink coffee, I have this sharp, excruciating pain in my eye. I can tell whats wrong just by looking at them why cant you?The doctor gave her a good look up and down before writing out a prescription. After examining him, an Irishman goes to the doctor and says, "You have some problems with your heart, but if you take these tablets, I think it will be okay. "Woman: "No, no, no! you know, you could do better.. He goes to see his doctor and is immediately rushed to the hospital to undergo a barrage of extensive tests.The man wakes up after the tests in a private room at the hospital, and the phone by his bed rings.This is your doctor. When the doctor does his history and physical, he discovers that the poor guy has tried practically every therapy known to man for his migraines and STILL no improvement. The man told his doctor that he wasn't able to do all the things around the house that he used to do. My love for you is so strong it can't be dialyzed. Source: tabloidindia.com Well, said the teacher, The first part was taking the engine apart and you did that perfectly, so you got 50%. When they get home, the wife says, "Dear, will you please go to the kitchen and get me a dish of ice cream? But wait, there's myrrh. He goes to see his doctor and is immediately rushed to the hospital to undergo a barrage of extensive tests. Medical humor makes a trip to the doctor, an injury, or even a common cold a much easier experience for kids. "He replied, "I doubt it somehow. The soldier would pick up any piece of paper he found, frown and say, "That's not it" and put it down again. If she comes home, don't let her in. Let's take a look at our favorite short jokes for adults only: As far as dirty jokes go, we can safely say that size doesn't matter. No one can crack hospital jokes like medical professionals. A new hybrid. - Will Rogers A guy and a girl met at a bar. Here are 20+ radiology memes certain to ease your stress: 1. That's the worst case of parking son's disease that I have ever seen. Any news on how hes doing?Nurse: So far, still no change., A seven-year-old girl came home and told her mom, A boy in my class asked me to play doctor.Oh no, honey. "Hello, Doctor," says the arm. COPY JOKE. They were put in seperate examination rooms. What did the full glass say to the empty glass? The golf pro saw her heading back and said, You are back early, whats wrong? The stranger says, "How about 10?" "Eventually," said the consultant, "she will rise and shine." Better than a quarterback sneak. Bacteria - Back door of a Cafeteria . "I said, "I don't go in for any of that astrology nonsense. Because youre giving me a serious bone condition! Doctor, "Tell him I can't see him.". ", Bloke in hospital with 60% burns, Dr. says, "Give him two Viagra." Jones, you may want to sit down. ER: The things on your head that you hear with, Genes: Blue denim slacks ", 10. Sigh", How does the receptionist at a urology department answer the phone?Urology office can you hold?. What will happen to her?Eventually, said the doctor. He went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited the $10. ", Patient: They just kept kung fu-ing the door and I kept telling them to stop. Doctor: 'Sit down and don't stir.'. Another doctor., Doctor: What seems to be your trouble?Patient: When I get up, I feel dizzy for one hour?Doctor: Try getting up one hour later.. "Man "Why? ", Doctor: You have high blood pressure and amnesia.Patient: Well, at least I dont have high blood pressure!. This is her husband!, Doctor: I had a young boy in here yesterday that swallowed 10 quarters. The doctor says, "Good! 11: I run faster horny than you do scared. Doctor: Mr. A dirty double . Son: Dad, if I told you I was gay, would you still love me? dirty. No, thats not an epi-pen in my pants. Mercury is in Uranus right now. SEO List Curator for Bored Panda. ""She had good handwriting.". Dr. Young: "Aaagh! Let's keep in touch and we'll send more your way. 80 short jokes and one liners! Why does Snoop Dogg use an umbrella? ""The bad news is it's brain cancer. ", What did the balloon say to the doctor?I feel light-headed.. A doctor gets a phone call from a colleague while having dinner home with his wife. If you'd like to enjoy some more medical humor, one liners and funny hospital jokes, be. Patient: "Doctor, Im hearing a ringing sound?". Nurse to doctor, "There's a man in the waiting room who thinks he is invisible.". Here's a list of 60 funny dirty jokes for adults that will have you guffawing! 7 Call a Doctor. What band was better than The Cure? Who stands in for doctors when they need to go on leave? Hell have you in stitches.. Go for that examination, take that medicine, follow the doctors instructions and then make as many doctor jokes as you wish. 'Why do you feel that?' What is a double-blind study?Two orthopedists reading an electrocardiogram. Why did the doctor tell the nurse to walk carefully by the pill cabinet?So that she wouldnt wake up the sleeping pills. Of course, if that doesnt work then well just have to put you down.. 1. This kind of unpleasant experience leaves us to not trust them. Did you hear about the Obstetrician who became a stand-up comedian?Apparently, its all about the delivery for some people. While in ER, Eva was examined, x-rated and sent home. Is probably going off duty. 7 points. I cant pay that before the end of the month!. ", Doctor: "Sir, I'm afraid your DNA is backwards.". The serious types of doctors are the ones who emanate serious aura. Because you could ride my lightning. Patient: Doctor, doctor, I stood on a LEGO!Doctor: Try to block out the pain., Doctor: "I've got good news, and bad news. ", Patient: Please help me! What did one tonsil say to the other tonsil? No reason to panic. The general surgeon spots a duck flying from the marsh, aims his rifle, shoots the duck in one shot, and turns to the others and says "I just shot myself a duck." The doctor prescribed him some pills, but they didnt help. Who do you call when you need a doctor immediately? Take a hot bath, and when you get out, open all the windows and stand in the draft.But if I do that, Ill risk getting pneumonia doc, replied the man.I know, said the doctor, but I can cure pneumonia!, One day, a man walked into a doctors office and told the receptionist he had shingles. "My cat is very fat," she says. Q: Does an apple a day keep the doctor away? She told me to stop going to those places. He went to Dr. Geezer's clinic and this is what happened.